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  • Writer's pictureDani

Look How Far We've Come

Earlier this month was the anniversary of my divorce from my terrible ex-husband. It has been nine years since the divorce was final and over ten years since we split up - it is getting to the point where we have been apart longer than we were together and as each year passes the damage he did has been repaired and the memories fade.

I used to spend a lot of time thinking of all the time wasted in that relationship/marriage. I used to think about what life would be like if I left sooner and if Tamy and I had more time. But these days I am choosing instead to focus on just how far I've come, how far Tamy and I have come and all we have to look forward to in the future.

For too many years I let someone tell me what I was capable of and worse what I wasn't, I was told that my job was just a job, and I would never amount to anything. I look at myself now, on the eve of starting a new role, at a company where I have moved up and made a name for myself and have very much turned this job into a career. I look at the people I've met, the friends that have become family and the co-worker that became my wife and I'm blown away by what I've achieved when I stopped letting someone call the shots and hold me back.

I look at all the things I've tried and all the places I've traveled. I've been to Hong Kong, to France, on cruises, we've explored places in Florida and across the United States with so many things on our bucket list and so many exciting things coming in the near future. I look at the races I've run and the hoops I've hung upside down from and the friends that have taken this journey with me and pushed me and helped me grow.

I think of how Tamy never complains about my excessive decorating or my desire to celebrate everything and she never says no when I say "hey, let's have a theme party." She is always right there, ready to help, full of ideas. I think of where we live and this darling apartment that we have turned it into such a happy home! I think of all the meals we've cooked and all the restaurants we've tried, and I love how nothing ever holds us back and whatever we do it's together and it's such an amazing adventure.

I look at me and Tamy riding around in our new vehicles, ready to make new memories, ready for new adventures. I'm proud of these vehicles because we worked hard to get them, we saved, we plan our money and by being smart we are able to have nice things. It's a huge difference from that long ago life with a man who locked me out of a joint account and stole money to use for unsavory things. It's a long way from being told I should only run if being chased, or that I wasn't smart enough to pursue promotions or that my sense of direction was so bad I shouldn't go anywhere without him. I think about all the ways he tried to hold me back and instead of protecting him like I did so often for so many years I think how strong I am and how lucky I am to have an amazing support system to help me break free. I think about all the ways I proved him wrong and I truly hope that today as I prepare to start a new adventure, another new chapter that he is sitting in prison thinking about his failures.

I share all this to remind all of you that we all create our own magic, our own good fortune and we have all come a long way and that I'm always here to be your cheerleader, supporter, shoulder and friend to help you along the way. I would love if you shared with me one thing you have overcome that you are super proud of - just pop it in the comments below or you can always find me on Instagram. Keeping moving forward my friends because we are rocking this awesome life.

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